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with jon stewart. captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to the daily show. my name is jon stewart. tonight jennifer aniston. jennifer aniston will be here. i hope i'm not too exhausted. i had a crazy weekend. yesterday likeyear in the end of june last weekend i dress in glitter like a peacock. i march down fifth avenue to raise awareness of exotic birds. and i've got to tell you this year almost more than any other year it went really really well. i couldn't believe the support i was getting. people are like this is a great day. it's been too long. i was like, yeah, exotic birds. you know what i mean? and then people are like wasn't friday amazing? i was like why? what happened friday? >> it is a history-making night with a vote that just happened a short time ago. new york becomes the 7th jurisdiction in america to recognize marriage for same sex couples. >> jon: that's a major civil rights victory. ( cheers and applause ) new york, finally, new york state's gay and lesbian community are free from the burden that was having to set foot in connecticut in order to get marr
's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show with jon stewart." captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme song playing] [applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show." my name is jiewrtdment we each got a show for you tonight. thank you very much. we have a show for you tonight. i'm telling you, it is a show the pope would tweet about. my guest tonight is louis ck. very few of you know this, but the ck is short for [bleeped] [laughter] yeah, man. all day we're here writing, all day. but we begin tonight with news out of illinois. you may remember about a year ago former governor rod blah... [stumbles over name] toured the country promising he'd be vindicated of all charges. he visited the "daily show" where i made a promise to him. again, if you get off scot-free, there's a hug waiting for you. >> i'm determined to work even harder to get that. >> jon: well, tonight i have some very good news to report. i will not have to hug rod blagojevich. [cheering and applause] and here's why: >> in chicago today, the jury said guilty 17 times as the former illinois governor
even harder to get that. >> jon: well, tonight i have some very good news to report. i will not have to hug rod blagojevich. [cheering and applause] and here's why: >> in chicago today, the jury said guilty 17 times as the former illinois governor rod blagojevich was convicted of attempted distortion, bribery, conspiracy and fraud. >> jon: 17 felony convictions, or as that's known, a chicago dozen. [laughter] on his way to the kraus to hear the verdict, blah... [stumbles over name] was unusually circumspect >> my hands are shaky, my neems are week, i can't seem to stand on my own two feet. [laughter] >> jon: quoting elvis on your way to hear a criminal verdict and you go with "all shook up"? "jailhouse rock" doesn't come up in that? "suspicious minds"? ♪ i'm caught in a trap ♪ nothing. of course, that was on his way to the verdict being read. after words, blah... [stumbles over name] wanted people to know that he'd learned his lesson. >> among the many lessons i've learned from this whole experience is to try to speak a little bit less, so i'm going to keep my remarks kind of sho
's whole grain in every box. make sure to look for the white check. jon: high noon here on the east coast on this historic friday. hello to you, i'm jon scott. thisthis is "happening now." patti ann: and i'm patti ann brown. happening now, tragedy at the texas rangers ballpark. a fan falls to his death trying to catch a foul ball tossed from the outfield. jon: it happened right in front of thousands of horrified onlookers including the man's young son. chris gutierrez live from dallas. what happened, chris? >> reporter: jon, you know, you've been to baseball games, you know how common it is for baseball players to pick up a ball and just toss it into the stands. well, that's what happened last night in the second inning of the texas rangers baseball game. josh hamilton, an outfielding for the texas rangers, scooped up a foul ball and tossed it to the fans, but that fan overstretched his bounds. he lost his balance, and he plunged head first some 20 feet below, jon. in fact, i'm told that when he landed, the paramedics say initially he was responsive, but he died on his way to the hospital
of their revolution." i'm joined now by jon leyne in cairo. first of all, what's the scene in tahrir square, where i know there was a plan for a huge demonstration. what is happening? >> thousands have already taken to the streets. many thousands. we are back to the days of february. tahrir square behind me is absolutely full of people and there are still people streaming in. who knows what the numbers are? they're certainly in the many tens of thousands. people are saying the second revolution. somebody said tonight, "this is our second revolution." they are also talking about setting up a camp, once again, and not leaving until they get their demands. this is a confrontation i think many of us expected to happen. course, when president hosni mubarak went, many of the people running the country did not go. many people are still there in power. >> we are looking at some pictures while you speak of the crowds in tahrir square. the looks relatively cocalm. there have been fears of violent confrontation. do you think that my uncle today -- do you think that might unfold today? >> the police and army de
[cheering and applause] >> jon: that's our show. join us tomorrow night at 11:00. tom hanks will be in the studio. here it, is your moment of zen. >> tonight i am going to tell you that jon stewart, because of what he did, is a racist. i don't believe that, but i'm going to tellcaptioning sponsory comedy central >> stephen: tonight, big news for wal-mart, not wal-mart big but big. and then animals respond to advertising. you know what they say? leg humping sells. [laughter] and my guest alexandra pelosi made a documentary about immigrants becoming u.s. citizens. i'm going to watch it backwards and make them all leave the country. [laughter] the pope wrote his first tweet today. he is truly the vessel through which god wastes time. [laughter] this is "the colbert report." ["the colbert repor captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( applause ) [cheers and applause] >> stephen: thank you very much. very kind. [cheers and applause] welcome to the report, everybody. thank you for joining us. [cheers and applause] thank you so much. [cheers and applause] tha
find a good one, tell me about him. >> where might i look. >> stephen: jon stewart. (laughter) he's really funny. he's really funny. let me ask you, political writing from a decade without a name this past decade, you mean. >> it's a weird decade which in a way begins with 9/11 and i think ends on the fourth of november 2008 when barack obama was elected president. and i think the very different agenda comes because obama's election comes with a financial and economic crisis. and suddenly that whole narrative which is that we're living through the fourth world war, that world history for the next 20, 30 years will is all going to be about the battle with islamist terrorism t doesn't seem to be quite like that any more. >> stephen: what is the battle? where is the fourth world war? >> i'm not sure. let's hope there isn't the fourth world war but what i do think, i have an account in this book of a very extraordinary meeting with george w bush in the early summer of 2001. don't look like that. >> stephen: hi an extraordinary meeting with him too once. but go ahead. >> i want to hear
, take a look at the conversation, it's very important, history of the media, between jon stewart, of comedy central, of course, and chris wallace. i think chris wallace laid down an interesting line here on what fox is all about. i think it's fair to say what he says now in this, perhaps, unrehearsed comment than was ever said by the advertising of fox when they called themselves fair and balanced. let's listen to chris wallace. >> you believe that fox news is exactly the ideological equivalent of nbc news? >> i think we're the counter -- i think that they have a liberal agenda and we tell the other side of the story. >> well, there's an admission by ron and then, josh, not saying fair and balances, he's saying they're a balancing act of the point of view of the major broadcast networks and i guess us? >> yeah. >> that's right. abc, nbc, cbs, the "new york times," everybody else in the media is part of a liberal conspiracy and poor, lonely little fox is out there all on their own counterbalancing this. of course, he admitted in saying that, they are, in fact, a conservative voice
is coming or whatever i'm spooking the audience with. being made fun of my jon stewart. i always say you're not going to survive. you're going to thrive. i think you're burn thrivers. you have taken it and done much more than survive. >> that is a good way to put it. i am now to the point and i think maybe i'm to the point now that i have forgotten all of whatever madness and guilt that i've had, but i am grateful. >> glenn: like childbirth? >> yes. that's a good point. >> glenn: god that is some sort of wicked magic, because women are screaming i want to kill you. then the baby comes out and they're like we have to have another. >> let's go do it again. >> that sounds familiar. [ laughter ] >> that's totally true. >> glenn: we're the ones on earth going don't you remember? >> i know. i know. >> it's a goo thing otherwise we'd only have one child. >> i'm grateful for it now. i can honestly tell you, and my kids ask me all the time. don't you want to just go back? just to how it was before? i don't. i really don't. i have been blessed beyond come rehens that anyone -- comprehension that a
are warranted can we start proceedings to modify or repeal the really guide. as jon mentioned, through this process, we've repeal 37 rules and guides. we have it repealed an upgrade since 2004. i think we did that get the most serious cases first. but we have undertaken modifications with respect to other since the time. when i post reviews and plays in one proceeding considering amendment to the labeling requirements for the alternative fuels and alternative fuel vehicles and here we are assessing how to eliminate the need for firm redundant labels demanded by different agencies. in another instance, accelerated to review of our mechanism for mandating notification and reporting of mergers and we intend to initiate reviews of the leather marble staircase son. comments provided in this process overwhelmingly show business support for an uncovered the mechanism we fuse the moving guys themselves. at least in particular stand out as a means to reduce business burdens by what we regard to be the line that separates appropria
. jon will be asking for leniency instead all of this may end up costing johnson more time behind bars. in greenbelt, scott broom, 9news now. >>> leslie johnson has been stripped of her staff, her cell phone and her car. a spokesman for the council said she could not describe the work johnson was doing in her office today. >>> still ahead, a man who was with his young son dies after he falls head first, reaching over a railing for a foul ball. also ahead, we'll tell you about a new app loaded with hundreds of things to do for kids in and around d.c. top? >> severe thunderstorm warnings are now being extended and expanded. we'll show you live doppler 9000 hd. fairfax county under a severe thunderstorm warning as well. prince william until 6:00. prince george's county extended until 6:00. massive line of showers and storms straddling 95. we'll come back and track them for you and look ahead to the weekend. >> her new release date is july 17th. yesterday, anthony looked ready to walk out as a free woman. she smiled and talked and wore her hair down for the first time since her trial began
again." jon huntsman's statement roads "the american people have been extraordinarily patient in waiting for the better and brighter times promised to them by this administration. their patience has rightly worn thin." tim pawlenty's statement, "we will have continued anemic growth and disappointing job creation so long as barack obama is president." your party was clearly ready to jump on it. >> absolutely. that's the politics of running for president, chris. don't act like this is something new and fantastic and no democrat is ever -- demagogue -- >> are you rooting for bad economic times? >> i'm not. >> are they? >> no, they're not. at the end of the day, they're not. >> do you think they're hoping the economy is going to tank really bad, they can walk into the white house? >> i think some are hoping for that. i think some tea party members in congress now are willing to play chicken with the economy. >> i think so, too. >> and blow it up and they don't care, because you know what, if it happens -- >> fair enough. you made a charge. fair enough. you made a charge some tea party people
the audacity of hope into the audacity of indifference. jon huntsman, the american people have been extraordinarily patient in waiting for the better and brighter times promised to them by this administration. pawlenty, president obama is out of answers and running out of time. his policies are not creating the necessary jobs and he has no plan to do it. they sound kind of right. >> we have been duped into going down this track. the republicans have manufactured a crisis, a debt ceiling crisis when we have a very real crisis in the unemployment crisis. you know, hey, mitt romney knows all about unemployment, right? because he's unemployed, guys. honestly, audacity, the republicans, all of a sudden, it's like they're licking their chops that the jobs numbers are this bad. they almost seem delighted. it's disgusting. what they have done? we have republicans in control of congress. what have they done? not a single thing. they're going to pounce on the president and say it's his policies. >> are we headed into a blame game over this, the total politicking advantage? >> that's been pret
gambling. back to you. jon: thank you. and thank you for joining us. patti ann: "america live"s right now. >> and we start with a fox news alert on the latest reaction to the crushing new jobs report. did you hear about it? president obama addressing anxious americans saying we've got a long way to go. welcome, everyone, to "america live." i'm gretchen carlson in for megyn kelly today. a new sign the economy still in big trouble. look at this. a slowdown in hire anything june pushing the unemployment rate now to 9.2%. only 18,000 net new jobs were added to the work force last month. at least 250,000 jobs are needed per month to drive the unemployment rate down significantly. and get this, since president obama took office we've seen the economy lose two and a half million jobs. president obama assuring americans there is a reason the numbers are so disappointing. listen to this. >> the sooner that the markets know that the debt limit ceiling will have been raised and that we have a serious plan to deal with our debt and deficit, the sooner that we give our businesses the certa
, waste of government money. well, there is a reason that jon mccain and barack obama both voted for the bailout. it is not because of wall street. it is because the main street in the biggest car dealership in the country that stopped financing cars is about to get to the point where you could go to sears and buy any kind of appliance on credit. the financial system had to be saved. we don't want to go there again. so most people did know this. they said we hate these bailouts. the democrats passed a financial reform bill, which gave the government power over some transactions it did not have to stop excessive leverage, that is to stop companies from making too many investments they didn't have the cash to cover. traditional banks would own $10 for every dollar in cash. when bear stearns failed in his 30 to one. lehman brothers about four to one. that's what's really in a financial reform bill. and by the way, if somehow they get around this and fail again, nomar bailouts. here's an orderly procedure for bankruptcy in the management and shareholders have to beat the loss. in oth
in almost as soon as the jobs report came in from mitt romney, tim pawlenty, jon huntsman. on capitol hill, john boehner was asking a familiar question, a question he's been asking for years -- >> after hearing this morning's jobs report, i'm sure the american people are still asking the question, where are the jobs? the stimulus spending binge, excessive government regulations and overwhelming debt continue to hold back job creators around our country. tax hikes on families and job creators only make things worse. >> reporter: and, of course, democrats will say to john boehner, and they are saying to john boehner this morning, there are job creation proposals that democrats say they have pending up on capitol hill that they would like to see passed. of course republicans say the same thing, they have job creation proposal pending if only the democrats would come to the table. and at the white house press briefing the press secretary jay carney said one way to get jobs going is pass some sort of agreement to raise the debt ceiling and bring the debt under control. of course we're all waiti
want to thank you for that. and jon, you're doing a good job. so i like that you're actually -- >> is this a setup? >> no. there's no comma, but coming here. i like that you're already attacking the issue of finding the regulations that are not very useful anymore. and don't serve the purpose. so good job. that's exactly what my bill that's in a different committee wants every agency, independent agency, to do. and it's not -- it's to provide the flexibility and i want to talk to you, sorry, commissioner northrop. >> ann is fine. >> because we can sit here and say good job on cribs. but it's amazing to me that we're sitting here talking about bicycles and a.t.v.'s and large cars and trucks that, 6, 7, 8-year-olds play with but yet we're regulating them. so you have to admit, mr. adler, there's some absurdity to the law. do you agree with the rules and regulations -- >> i think that congress basically got the law right. and what you're talking about is a mandate that congress impose, not that the commission imposed. but there are always some portions of the law that need to be
Search Results 0 to 21 of about 22 (some duplicates have been removed)